The Man in the
Red Coat^®

Wedding Etiquette. Chapter 1 – What is the point?

Over the next few weeks, I am going to post articles referring to etiquette. Each will be about either a different part of the wedding or a different person and their responsibilities within it.

Subjects to be covered will include, photographs, speeches, clothing, the bride, the bridegroom, the parents, the bridal party (including the best man, the head bridesmaid/maid of honour, bridesmaids, ushers, page boys and flower girls etc) the gift list, the wedding breakfast (including table plan), the cutting of the cake, the departure of the bride and bridegroom, and even the release of doves!  So please watch out for new episodes over the coming weeks and I hope they are of help, as well as in some cases a bit of an eye-opener to both the past, present and maybe even the future.

Etiquette at weddings is something that is gradually being diluted in this modern age, and in many cases rightly so. This is mainly because some rituals are no longer relevant in this modern world or that they are even no longer PC!

So I will be looking back at the etiquette of an English wedding, although many things apply to other cultures too, in particular the Hindu and Sikh worlds. If you are a planner or a couple currently in the planning stages, you can check out ideas that you may wish to include, or you may wish not to!

Etiquette, according to the Oxford English Dictionary means as follows – Noun, “is the customary code of polite behaviour in society or among members of a particular group or profession”.

Well, that sounds like a load of old cobblers doesn’t it? Or does it?

I think not. Actually, it has often been proven that the most formal of events turn out to be the most relaxed, because either everybody knows their place or they will be given clear instructions as to what it is.

So whilst in some eyes etiquette is seen as elitist and pointless, in fact, it provides the structure by which any event, not just a wedding, can be conducted in a relaxed and well-informed manner. In modern times this may seem, a bit like using a toastmaster, “Why would you want one of them?” But having these guidelines (and a toastmaster) really does make a difference and nowhere more than in the Asian wedding world where it is being adopted more and more.

So if you want to know what the rules are please look out for the articles that are to follow over the weeks to come. Hopefully, you will find them interesting and help you in the planning of your wedding or any great event, be it yours or anybody else’s.

In chapter 2 we look at how we get the ball rolling. The Invitation.