The Man in the
Red Coat^®

To get added value to an event, I guess you need to be a valued customer?!

I was recently asked to quote for an Asian Wedding. This is not something unusual for me, as Hindu Weddings make up around 60% of all the weddings I do each year.

So as you can see, I have great experience with these and if you check out my Instagram feed you will see many amongst all the work I do as a Toastmaster, Master of Ceremonies, Beadle and Auctioneer.

But what value do I bring to such an occasion?

Well, as most of my clients will testify, I am one of the best-value items you can add to a wedding. However, if this is the case, why is it that a toastmaster is always the first thing to be dropped if a budget is tight? Additionally, is it the most sensible option to drop, especially given the importance of the event?

The answer is until you have seen a good one work, they have no perceived value. A dress, a cake, flowers and food are all easily understood and visualised. These four items alone are all things that every wedding has, but they are never things that give you a feeling of the day. They can also all be items that are far more costly than a Toastmaster. Yes, as mentioned they are all visible, but they don’t affect how relaxed or engaging and or how memorable the day can be.

The second reason is that it is felt that anyone can do this! “Don’t worry my friend can, or my brother will, or the catering/venue manager will!” Now don’t get me wrong, if you are lucky enough to have someone competent enough to jump into the role, then great,  but remember it is not just about making announcements. It is about coordinating with all the suppliers and making sure the day runs smoothly and in a relaxed manner and if you are asking a guest to do the role properly, then they are not really a guest anymore! Additionally, if you are asking the venue or catering manager to do so, they are no longer concentrating on the other job they are otherwise there to do, which is run a catering department or set up the venue. They cannot effectively be doing both well. Finally, a Toastmaster is independent, so they have much more authority over guests regardless of which family they are supporting and can also act as a buffer between the other suppliers and the host.

The role of a Toastmaster is not just about making those announcements. He or She is there to act as an extra pair of eyes and ears, not just for the host, but also for the other suppliers. They are not just there to inform the guests but also the suppliers as well. So not only are they making the host’s day better and more relaxed, but they do so for many of the hard-working suppliers as well. They in turn may not get the chance to relax as they are working hard, but they no longer have the distraction of the guests. The communication from the Toastmaster goes both ways.

It is, however, how we make people feel that makes the difference to a wedding. If you ask many guests what the cake looked like a month after the wedding, they may struggle to tell you. If you ask what the bride was wearing most will just say white, or in the case of an Asian bride may be a Red of some kind. I am sure that both the cake and the dress will have been absolutely stunning, but the detail often gets forgotten very quickly.

How did you feel at the wedding? That is a much more emotive question. Most people will remember the atmosphere long after they have forgotten about the cake. Additionally, my slogan and ethos is “I aim to make you as the host or the couple feel as welcome and relaxed as a guest at your own event.” That means I want you to be able to relax enough to enjoy it as much as everybody else. It is your event, your party, your wedding, so surely you must want to enjoy it too?!

So back to the quotation that I mentioned at the beginning of this article. I had a great chat with the bride, following a recommendation from her caterer that she should use me. I quoted her and she was really happy, so much so that I sent off my application form for business as requested, following our conversation.

However, as I said every wedding has a budget and someone further up the line holding the purse strings obviously did not understand the value I was going to bring to the day.

I got a communication saying that I would not be needed any longer for the full day. The venue had stated I wasn’t necessary and they felt that they could get everybody shifted swiftly from one place to another themselves and also get the 40-odd group photos taken easily without my help.  Therefore, I was only needed in the evening. Could I cut my fee down by 2/3rds as I would no longer be needed for so long?

I replied, “Are you sure?”, as after at least 150 Hindu weddings I know just how difficult, getting the photos taken swiftly and in an organised fashion is to do. They seemed confident as the venue had said that they would help them do this. “OK,” I said, “that is cool, but my fee only comes down a ¼.” Why only a quarter? Because my travelling and cleaning expenses alone are just the same and the travelling time would be much longer (2x) on the way out to the venue due to the time of day. Also, the rate to do an evening is not the same as a whole day which because of the length, gets a discount built in.

The bride would get back to me. It was evident that she clearly wanted me for the whole day, but that was not going to be an option, and when she came back to me, no longer was the evening! The purse strings had asked the DJ to run that for them entirely.

The bride and I left on good terms and I wished her and her husband to be a wonderful day and life ahead together and if she ever needed me in the future, she knew where to get hold of me.

Some months later, I was working alongside the caterer who had recommended me and I asked him how the event had gone. When he realised which event we were talking about, he went “Oh God, you don’t want to know!”

It transpired that the event started really well, with all the hullaballoo that goes with the arrival of the bridegroom. However, getting people from the welcome breakfast to the Mandap celebration was slow and as such it started nearly 30 minutes later than scheduled. The Priest did a great job and worked really hard to get back some lost time without it feeling like it was being hurried, as he was aware there was to be a civil ceremony the couple had to be ready for later in the day.

Then came the photos. One tip I always give to couples who have many photos to take is to publish their list so everyone knows that they are at least in a photo. This had not been done and the venue who had promised to help with this did not as it “was not the kind of thing they do with regards to announcements”!   By the end of the photos, they were 90 minutes behind schedule. Added to that the room where the Mandap was, was needed for the reception later and the late 90 minutes was going to have a knock-on effect on the schedule in the evening.

Also being 90 minutes behind meant what should have been a relaxing lunch followed by couples shots with their photographer, turned out to be lunch in their bedroom whilst they changed hurriedly with virtually no time for the aforementioned photos together. They did, however, make it to the civil ceremony, but in a much more stressed condition.

Then the evening was delayed. Even though it had been 90 minutes behind time all the teams worked really hard to reduce the delay to 45 minutes behind time. However, they never got the time back. The first dance should have been at around 9.30 pm but it did not happen until 10.40. The speeches were not well introduced and the guests didn’t behave that well either. It was not that they were naughty or disrespectful, they were just slow to move and not given proper guidance as there was no one really to lead them. As for the family, they were all pretty stressed on both sides.

It gave me no pleasure hearing this tale of woe. The bride was genuinely a lovely woman and I was sorry not to help her, but it was a clear case that the person paying the bills did not see the value of what one central person can do to avoid stress levels rising and time being lost. The sad thing was that part of what I do is highlight the other things that are spent to put on a wedding. The cake, the dress, the guest book, the photo booth and in particular all the other suppliers get a mention. It isn’t about advertising it is just about making people aware of the hard work going on behind the scenes to make the day so perfect. The caterer who had recommended me is very aware of my strengths and what a difference I can make to a celebration. They are also aware of how much I can help them do their job in a less stressed fashion.

Professionally trained Toastmasters and Masters of Ceremony really can make a difference, but you need to interview us well to find out if we are suitable for your event. Never go on price alone. Price is not the same as value, in fact, it is far from it.

I have a quote on my Facebook page from a Father of the Bride who before the event never understood the value of using me.

“The children said that they wanted a Toastmaster and I said, what do you want one of them for?

But I so get it now. It was the best-invested money, you made everything so easy and kept it all moving to make everything really relaxed.  Thank you so much, you have really made their day and if truth be told, my day, too. Thank you, thank you”

I also have another where another father of the bride stated that he felt that not only was I great value, but that I had ensured value from all the other suppliers. If you think back to the example of the wedding above where they started the dancing over an hour late. The DJ will have charged for his set up and of course to play music for 3 hours at the end of the evening. If they only play for two hours their value, through no fault of their own, is greatly diminished.

I cannot and neither can any Toastmaster guarantee that every event will run on time. Some things are beyond our control. However, our experience will help minimise loss and possibly regain time and I guess our personalities really can make that difference. The most often comment given to me is “How do you make it all look so relaxed and easy?” My response is, “Because that is how it should look, even if inside I may be feeling like a swan avoiding a weir!”

So remember, it is difficult to understand the value of a Man in a Red Coat until you have used a professional one. However, to get value for your event you have to become a Toastmaster’s valued customer. That way everyone wins and in particular not only do you get value for money, but your event is generally memorable too, for all the right reasons.

About the Author: James Hasler, The Man in the Red Coat, a fellow of the Guild of International Professional Toastmasters, is considered one of the top toastmasters, masters or ceremony, event hosts and comperes in London. He has a reputation for being highly organised, easy to work with and being great value for money. He has travelled throughout the world in this capacity and is regularly consulted on etiquette and protocol of formal events and occasions, especially in the City of London. In addition to his hosting roles, he is a widely acclaimed charity auctioneer, raising money for good causes, and when he is not in front of an audience, he can often be heard as the “voice of god” announcer at many large events.